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Parents and Children

January 19, 2014

The relationship between parents and children is well-defined in the holy scriptures. Forces deliberately at work in the country at this time are destroying that relationship. They would have the children smarter and more experienced than the parents, and dictating to the parents. The Bible paints quite a different picture. Parents are generally wiser due to years of experience, and use that experience and wisdom to guide the youth under their care. Discipline, administered lovingly, is to be applied where and when necessary -- not to harm the children, but to correct them to save their lives and their souls.. - Bernie Parsons

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Parents and Children

by Bernie Parsons


Presented to Globe church of Christ on 01-19-2014

Presented to Load church of Christ on 02-09-2014



In the last sermon, I examined with you the role of husbands and wives. I want to follow that with a review of the relationship between parents and children.



Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."


The goal is not to irritate and agitate your children into behaving as you would like them to, but rather to encourage them to do right, to do good. God expects children to obey their parents in those things that the Lord commands and expects.


Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."


First, let us look at Ephesians 6:4, where Paul told the believers at Ephesus that the fathers are not to provoke their children to wrath, as we have already seen, but also to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”


The Greek word translated “nurture” refers to “education or guidance”, while “admonition” means “warning or counseling”. Fathers are to guide and counsel their children in the ways of the Lord.


This parallels the commandment to the fathers and grandfathers under the Law of Moses.


Deuteronomy 4:7 "For what nation is there so great, who hath God so nigh unto them, as the LORD our God is in all things that we call upon him for?

8 And what nation is there so great, that hath statutes and judgments so righteous as all this law, which I set before you this day?

9 Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons;

10 Specially the day that thou stoodest before the LORD thy God in Horeb, when the LORD said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children."


Deuteronomy 6:4 "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."


The father of the family has the obligation to teach the commandments and ways of the Lord to his children, and their children. The women also have an obligation to teach the younger women.


Titus 2:3 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."


Discipline is not excluded from the education of a young man, as we see in both Old and New Testament writings.


Proverbs 23:13 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."


“Beat” actually means “strike” and does not necessarily mean a severe beating, as some imagine.


Hebrews 12:8 "But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."


Now, we turn our attention to the other verses from:


Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”


The apostle Paul repeats the advice given to the believers at Colossee, to those at Ephesus, but expands upon it a bit. He also reminds children to honor their fathers and mothers. Many think that this means to say “Yes, sir!” and “Yes, ma’am!” and rise to offer a seat. It goes beyond that, meaning that children are to help look after the financial needs of their parents.


Mark 7:9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.

10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:

11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.

12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;

13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye."


In the above, our Lord Jesus rebuked the Jewish leadership for allowing people to donate money to the temple treasury – Corban – while neglecting to take care of their parents. That tradition of donating to the treasury in lieu of helping parents was a tradition that violated God’s laws. But, it goes beyond children, including extended family.


1 Timothy 5:4 "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God."


1 Timothy 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."


1 Timothy 5:16 "If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed."


We find that believers who have parents, aunts and uncles, or other family members, such as widows, who need financial assistance are to provide that help. Family takes care of family first. Even infidels – unbelievers – are known to do that. A follower of Christ who will not help his or her own family is worse than an infidel!


The relationship between parents and children is an important one, and one that is governed by the instructions of God. With love at the center of this relationship, the results are good.



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